Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Sammy Wilson.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
Brendan Gleeson

Favourite saying?
Persistence without expectation.

Favourite record?
LCD Soundsystem’s Sound Of Silver.

Favourite book?
100 Years Of Solitude.

Favourite film?
Raging Bull.

Favourite author?
Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Favourite actor/actress?
Cillian Murphy / Ruth Negga.

Favourite musician?
Augustus Pablo.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
Love a latte in the morning and a Red Bull on night five in a row of shows.

TV programme?
Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Favourite TV personality?
Graham Norton.

Favourite item of clothing?
Comfy hoodie.

Most desirable date?
My wife (or Dua Lipa).

Dua Lipa at 3Arena by Miguel Ruiz

Favourite method of relaxation?
Floating in the ocean.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
History lecturer.

Biggest thrill?
Powder skiing in the alps.

Your concept of heaven?
Nothingness. But if we are talking imagination, then swimming in the ocean as the sun sets.

Your concept of hell?
The eternal sound of my brother eating Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

What would be your dying words?
I love you all.

Greatest ambition?
To squat with my heals touching the ground without holding onto something.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
I think I would like to have been alive during the original Kingdom of Desmond, before the Anglo Normans came and messed it all up. I would probably end up hanging around with some distant cousins anyway.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?
A dolphin. I try to be in the ocean as much as I can as it is.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
I would waste the day riddled with anxiety.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Lady Gaga.

Favourite term of abuse?
XXXXX.

Biggest fear?
Immobility.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
White noise.

Humanity’s most useless invention?
Religion.

• Des Bishop brings his new stand-up show Mia Mamma to 3Olympia Theatre on Friday 20 January, 2023.