When John Waters reveals that I have seen the future and its name is Rich Zubaty I rush to learn more of Rich Zubaty.

But first, a flashback. It s only three years since John announced that he had seen the future and its name was Tony Blair. John s Blair thesis was rooted in the Theory of the Hundredth Monkey, developed in the 1950s by US scientists on the Japanese island of Koshima who noticed that the local monkeys acquired powers of telepathy when the number who had learned a particular skill reached critical mass. When, say, the hundredth Koshima monkey understood, say, how to wash sweet potatoes, the skill was automatically transmitted to monkeys on neighbouring islands even though there had been no physical contact whatever between the Koshima monkeys and the others.
Similarily, as soon as a sufficient number of people realised, as John had already realised, that Blair s Third Way was the right path into the future, Blairism would engulf the world to the benefit of all humankind without further need of exposition or persuasion. John will, no doubt, in his own good time, provide us with an update on progress towards critical mass on this one, with particular reference to Blairism in the North, the presidency of George W. Bush and the problems besetting sub-Saharan Africa.
Back to Rich Zubaty. John discovered Rich s book, What Men Know that Women Don t, on the internet, and speedily recognised it as possibly "the most explosive book of the century", although "it has yet to find anyone willing to put it into print .
Zubaty, John explains, says things we have not dared to think. Men are more spiritual than women. Men have deeper feelings than women. Men are intuitive, women are not. Women are not oppressed. Women are the cause of war.
It is somewhat surprising that John believes these are things we have not dared to think , given the impression conveyed in his writings that not only has he himself been thinking little other than these things in recent years but that he believes he has millions of co-thinkers out there unwilling to express their thoughts out of fear of the monstrous regiment of wimmin. But anyway, I rushed to click onto www.gecities.com/Athens/Oracle/5225, apparently the site where I might find this work of transcendant significance
The site advertises a number of Mr. Zubaty publications, and reveals him as an author, father, lecturer, world traveller, freelance monk, unreconstructed beatnik, former Sixties activist, and former policy analyst for the American Fathers Coalition in Washington DC. He has lived in Europe, Asia, India, Australia, the South Pacific, North and South America, writing, filming, trading work for food and watching how people live . Seemingly never stopped off in Koshima, sadly.
The meisterwork What Men Know That Women Don t turns out to be an updated electronic version of Rich s earlier effort, Surviving the Feminisation of America How to Keep Women from Ruining Your Life the book that unshames men and frees your brainwaves for recovery from Feminism... the book that proclaims It s OK to Be a Man .
The testimonials from satisfied readers are striking. It made me feel confided in . I felt like someone had finally taken me aside and given me the low-down. Like an uncle I never had... Michael Hickman, Mission Viejo, Belize.
Like so many others of the Betrayed Generation, he played by the Rules someone else's Rules -- and got the hilt buried in his back, the bitter chalk of Judas' kiss nailed to his lips... Zubaty is the real Terminator, and what he has come to slay is the Artificial Man and his consort, the Empowered Witch Ray Remark.
Rich knows that feminism will only be brought to an end when men acknowledge that women lack the moral strength to lead society or the family George McAulay.
A number of the praise-singers follow Rich himself in ruminating on the supposed fact the fraternity obviously regards this as a tremendous point that Mater , the Latin word for mother, is the root word of materialism . Which would be a middling-interesting etymological observation were it true, but it's not. The root word of materialism is the Latin material meaning matter. It was a sorry day they stopped teaching Latin in the schools.
From Rich's site it is possible to access the "Men's Ring" site ("owned by Rich Zubaty") and "The Official Father's World Web Ring!" site ("owned by Rich Zubaty".)
The entire point and purpose of my perusing these pages was eventually to click onto What Men Know that Women Don't. This, in the event, proved impossible. A frayed afternoon at screen and keyboard has elicitied only repeated messages as from Conor Faughnan of the AA to the effect that there is a "Traffic Jam on the Information Highway". Women drivers, I wouldn't be one bit surprised.
I did manage to call up a number of the articles Rich has contributed to a wide range of newspapers and magazines, including the Rev. Moon's Washington Times and Penthouse. Thus I discover that there are FOUR (he's into CAPITAL LETTERS in a big way, Rich) main forces contributing to the oppression of modern American men: globalisation, automation, women and immigrants.
"In the past 30 years 30 million women have entered the American workforce. This has had a huge impact on men. Think of our economy as a big water balloon. Squeeze on one side and another side bulges out...
"In the past 30 years, 30 million immigrants have come to live in America. Do immigrants only take jobs Americans don't want? Not from where I sit. Once in awhile I need to take carpentry or house painting jobs to keep bread in my belly. Up until ten years ago I could find these jobs. Now I cannot."
If they ever make the movie, Rich will be played by Michael Douglas.
Now the end is near and so we face the final curtain without benefit of John's (rather early, I'd have thought) nomination as the most explosive book of the century. So it's all been pointless, really, again. I still know nothing of what men know that women don't, except how to pee in the sink and clean your teeth at the same time when you're in a hurry in the morning.
But not totally pointless either. "The bitter chalk of Judas' kiss nailed to his lips". Let's look on the bright side. We'd never have encountered a phrase the like of that if John hadn't sent us in search of Rich Zubaty.
And next up, in the wild and wacky world of news reporting
Many will remember that, last year, rampaging hordes of train drivers led by sinister ILDA boss Brendan Ogle tried to what was the phrase? hold the country to ransom. Fortunately, the forces of right and reason, their spirits sustained by stirring polemics from the industrial and transport correspondents of the daily newspapers and RTE, held the line for liberty.
The commitment of the media was strong enough to withstand the fact that the view of Mr. Ogle and the ILDA that the deal on offer from Ianrod Eireann should be rejected was the majority view of train drivers of all unions as measured in the secret ballot which preceded the dispute. So successful were the forces of right and reason in combatting this inconvient fact that go on, admit it you weren't aware of it during the dispute. .
Or maybe you don't remember any of it at all. Which is sometimes best, for sanity's sake.
Now it's the turn of the Association of Secondary Teachers of Ireland (ASTI). I heard Mr. Eamo Dunphy discussing ASTI's pay campaign with a TD the other day, and the two of them agreeing that the teachers had a bloody cheek demanding #300 a week, what with their extremely short hours and exceedingly long holidays.
Got that? Eamon Dunphy and a TD were giving out about other people's short working week and long summer holidays.
Liam Lawlor is on record as favouring zero tolerance for bribery and corruption.
On January 6th, ASTI negotiators brought the latest deal on offer from the Department of Education to the union's standing committee. The committee voted 12-10 to turn it down.
Later, the deal was put before ASTI's central executive, which rejected it, 92-69.
Fairly clear what democracy demanded, then the union leaders were duty-bound faithfully to represent the views of the membership?
No. The Irish Times was typical of general media coverage in fulminating against "the union's decision to defy the leadership".
Think on that phrase, friends. My own thoughts on these matter derive from the fact that after a quarter of a century in journalism and a longer period in trade unionism, I cannot remember a single instance, not one, of a mainstream publication or broadcasting outlet giving editorial backing to workers in dispute with their management.
Does that not tell us almost everything we need to know about the fundamental role of the media in our class-fractured society?