The time has come for radical action. It's been building inexorably - as things always seem to build - towards this inevitable climax for a long time now. Well, there can, I fear, be no further room for delay no matter how painful the process itself may ultimately be. Because I have finally, and after careful consideration, decided to denounce everything.

There maybe those who consider this a precipitate action, who believe that time might have been allowed for further negotiation. But how often have we heard this kind of aimless placatory talk from moderates of all persuasions in the past? It is the same old mournful refrain. All of the relevant factors must, of course, be taken into consideration. A full and comprehensive review is essential before any decision can be taken one way or another. It is important that we achieve the necessary balance. We cannot afford to do anything which might cause fluctuations in the money markets or otherwise destabilise the currency. And always, they ask, is it a prudent course of action?

It is quite clear from all this mealy-mouthed claptrap that the individuals involved - not to talk about the appalling institutions which they represent - have absolutely no understanding of the difficulties which face the poor overburdened leader writer. It is all very well for them to talk about taking the views of all the parties to the dispute into account. To argue that the search for a compromise must go on. To insist that to go against the consensus is to risk setting a process in motion, the logical consequences of which scarcely bear thinking about. I know all this - we know all this. But we are working under pressures which are beyond the feeble powers of these apostles of mediocrity ever to even begin to think about comprehending. Have they ever tried to solve the Arab Israeli question with a deadline staring them in their eyes - eyes bloodshot, it must be said, from lack of sleep occasioned by a previous issue's failed attempt to end the troubles in Northern Ireland? Have they had to dictate to RTE what its policy on Irish music should be with the din of a sozzled ballad group, belching out an out-of-tune version of 'Come All Ye Black And Tans' from the bar across the street, ringing in their tinnitus-plagued ears? Have they indeed been faced with the terrible realisation that they have just used the word 'out' twice in the previous sentence with less than 45 seconds to go before the pages are whisked away to the printers - and realised too that they have, at that precise moment, even less imagination than time, with which to rectify that catastrophically unprofessional blunder?

It is easy for them. They do not know what it is like to be in the business of denouncing things. They cannot imagine the shocking burden it places on the individual to have to face into each new issue without knowing for sure that something will happen in the world, which will present itself for the kind of instant, just add vinegar denunciation which pours forth in beautifully pungent, acrid prose at the mere drop of an editor's leaky biro. They do not know what it is like to have to have an opinion when in truth you have nothing to say.

Will I denounce Yassar Arafat as a traitor to his people? Jimmy Carter as a flagrant imposter who has about as much chance of bringing about peace in the North as San Marino have of winning the World Cup? Or John Major for doing what he almost always does - which is absolutely nothing at all? Faced with crises of this magnitude every time I sit down to write this column I have finally concluded that enough - as ever - is enough. Rather than suffer this intolerable burden any longer, I have decided to throw off the yoke of the oppressor and to get it all off my chest in one vicious outburst.

That is why I have decided to denounce everything - and everyone. Including - indeed especially - those who seem to feel that their only useful role in life is to denounce things.

• Niall Stokes