I BET Frank Begbie would love to be here. Bruce Rioch is recalling the time when Archie Gemmill suddenly became Pelé, George Best and Eusebio all rolled into one and scored that Scottish World Cup goal against Holland.

“Having been dire in the Peru game and not much better against Iran, we knew we had to win,” he explains. “Ally (McLeod) gave me the same sort of free midfield role that Zidane had with France during the last World Cup. The idea was that I’d tuck in behind Kenny Dalglish and Joe Jordan and exploit whatever space I could find – which, with Johan Neeskens chasing everything that moved, wasn’t much.

“Anyway, we were 2-1 up when Archie – who wasn’t exactly known for his dribbling skills – decided to single-handedly take on their defence. I’ve got to admit that after he’d beaten the first two men I wanted him to pass it, but he went all the way and scored a goal that, to my mind, was even better than Maradona’s against England. We won the game but, being Scotland, went out on goal difference.”

Despite his supporting role in the tape-swapping scene, the former Derby County, Everton and Arsenal star has never heard of Trainspotting or its wily playmaker Irvine Welsh.

“I’ll have to get it out on video sometime for myself and the wife,” he says, blissfully unaware of the drug-induced depravity that awaits him and Mrs Rioch.

Argentina ’78 isn’t the only time the Ron Dixon lookalike has come face to face with Holland’s finest – his brief tenure as Arsenal manager resulting in Dennis Bergkamp’s arrival at Highbury.

“I’ve been a manager for 18 years now and that’s definitely the best bit of business I’ve done,” says the newly-installed Norwich City gaffer. “A lot of people thought I was mad paying £7.5 million for Dennis after his poor showing at Inter but I reckoned his problems were more off the pitch than on it. It’s widely accepted that a player’s first move abroad is the most disruptive and, on top of everything else, he’d got married just four days before arriving in Milan. He had a young wife who, not able to speak the language, couldn’t settle and that got to him.

“I agonise far more over the signing of a £500,000 player than I do a £7.5 million one because you know – or at least strongly suspect – that you’re getting class. Compared to the £8 million Liverpool paid for Stan Collymore and the £15 million Aston Villa want for Dwight Yorke, Dennis was an absolute steal.”

While describing Bergkamp as “by far and away the best player I’ve managed”, there was one occasion when Rioch would gladly have boxed those oversized ears of his.

“His wife ’phoned me up one day and said, ‘I’m afraid Dennis is a bit upset and needs to talk to you’. Not something you want to hear a month before the start of a new season so we met straight away and he dropped his bombshell: ‘Sorry but I can’t fly’. My response to that was, ‘fine, but how do you intend getting to Sweden next week for the friendlies we’re playing?’ The answer was, ‘I’ll drive there’, which he did in his jeep. Unfortunately, when you’ve got a Premiership game on Saturday and Spartak Moscow away in the European Champions’ League on Wednesday, you can’t do that.”

Certainly, Bergkamp will want to have his spark-plugs looked at before setting off for the 2002 World Cup in Japan and Korea. The Dutchman’s bombshell, though, was nothing compared to the nuclear device dropped by David Dein when the Arse got back from Sweden. After guiding his charges to a UEFA Cup berth, Rioch was told by the Chairman that his managerial services were no longer required.

“That was very hard to take,” he says, wincing at the memory. “Arsenal is a great club with players, staff and supporters that are worthy of the utmost respect but the board . . .well, let’s just say they could’ve handled the matter better. What I can’t argue with is that by bringing in Arsène, they’ve assembled a team that could go at least as far as Manchester United in Europe. If Dennis is available for all the games, that is.”

In a bizarre juxtaposition of roles, Rioch’s next job was assisting his former Highbury number two Stewart Houston at QPR.

“It could’ve worked out,” he reflects, “but, unfortunately, Rangers were very much a selling club at the time and we weren’t able to put together the sort of squad we wanted. What it did do, though, was re-awaken my passion for the Nationwide League. Having taken both Bolton and Middlesbrough up, I know what Premiership football means to a city.”

Despite the embarrassment of a 1-0 reversal last week at St. Patrick’s Athletic, Rioch is confident of Norwich holding their own next season in the Nationwide and maybe sneaking into the play-offs.

“I can fully appreciate the frustration that comes from beating Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup one season and being relegated the next. The main problem has been the club needing to sell players to balance the books but, with the way things are at the moment, we should be able to keep our squad intact for a while.

“We’ve got a proven goalscorer in young Craig Bellamy who, contrary to what’s been suggested in the local press, is not on his way to Benfica. The other good news is that Keith O’Neill’s fully fit again and working his arse off in training. We’ve yet to decide whether he’s best deployed on the left or in the centre but, wherever he ends up, I know he’ll do the business for us.”

Bearing in mind that next week sees the annual Clark, O’Brien and Glendenning pilgrimage to Stanley Racing, who does Rioch fancy for the Division One title?

“Colin Todd has managed to keep virtually all of his star players at the Reebok Stadium which, along with their new signings, makes Bolton a good bet. As woeful as Crystal Palace were last season, any side managed by Terry Venables has got to be in with a shout and I understand he’s got a fair bit of money at his disposal.

“Barnsley are going to find it difficult with Danny Wilson gone and I’m not sure Sunderland have got enough flair players for automatic promotion. I like the look of Ipswich and, in particular, Kieron Dyer who’s one of the best young players outside of the Premiership. If I was to go for a dark horse it’d be them or Birmingham City, who’ve looked very dangerous since Dele Adebola’s arrival from Crewe.”