I had positioned myself where I could get a generous measure of eye candy. There he was, sitting at the bar – the most beautiful man in Dublin. Well, maybe not all of Dublin – perhaps just George’s St. Or if not the entire street, well certainly the most beautiful man in Izakaya.

My friend disagreed. “Ugh, long hair,” she said disdainfully. “I hate long hair on men.”
Me, I’m a fan. I like hair I can play with. Granted, since I have long hair myself there is twice the likelihood of getting an unwelcome strand in the mouth while kissing someone, which is never delightful; but on the plus side, I only get half the blame. I’d thank God for hair bands, but I’m pretty sure someone else invented them.
Of course, I don’t object to men with short hair – or even baldies, as that can be sexy too. Trichophilia, that’s arousal by the sight or touching of hair, is not one of my kinks. For me, long hair on a man is not a prerequisite, more of a preference, a penchant, or predilection, if you will.
Why do some women find long hair on men sexy and other women don’t? A friend of mine recently chopped off his hair and lovely hair it was too – dark brown with a bit of a curl – but he reckons he is more self-confident with short hair and that women in their early 20s prefer it too.
Really? Not so, responded another friend. “Don’t put a sweeping generalisation on my age bracket,” she complained. “On the right man, long hair is lovely.” The right kind of man being Johnny Depp; his nemesis, the wrong kind, would be Mick Wallace. “That man needs a deep-conditioning mask immediately!” she reckoned and I am not one to disagree – a trim wouldn’t go amiss either.
I was pondering hair, and its connection to sexual attraction so I decided to do some research.
In Western civilisation, long hair on women is almost universally regarded as a good thing. Most studies, both popular and scientific, conclude that long hair makes a woman more feminine and appealing to men. That’s probably not news to you. Nor would you be flabbergasted to learn that similar studies have found that men with short hair are generally seen as more masculine and attractive.
Evolutionary psychologists tell us that men prefer women with long hair because it symbolises youth and fertility – your hair doesn’t grow as fast or as long when you get older.
This would sort of make sense except it is a bit contradictory. Youth and fertility are big pluses according to evolutionary theory because it posits that, whether or not we want children, we always look for the best possible genetic material with which to procreate. You might think you are attracted to someone’s sense of humour, intelligence or kindness – but what it is really happening is that your subconscious mind has decided they like the look of their DNA.
Of course, this means that youth and fertility are also prized by women. If evolutionary theory is correct, according to the same logic, long hair should be associated with virility in men. So why is it not? Because culture, not nature, tells us short hair is masculine.
You may think that your hairstyle – and the one you prefer on the opposite sex – is just a matter of personal choice and inclination, but a little bit of digging reveals that hair is loaded with cultural, social, sexual and historical meanings.
Next time you pop into the barbers for a buzz cut, consider this: psychoanalysts have theorised that the hair, being the one part of the body that it is acceptable to touch or play with in public, is used to express latent sexual desire. Since you can’t rub your genitals, stroke your boobs or play with your bum in polite company, you sublimate your desire and fiddle with your hair.
As such, hair is a phallic symbol and cutting the hair is a symbolic castration. That – like much psychoanalysis – might sound like nonsense but it is true that in many societies short hair was the mark of a slave or a prisoner, while long hair denoted a citizen or person of high birth. In such a society, the shearing of hair was equal to emasculation.
It seems likely that our forebears had much the same idea. Under the Brehon Laws it was illegal to shave a man’s head without permission. To do so would have been a violation because the ancient Gaelic people took great pride in their hair and both men and women wore their crowning glories long.
In different cultures and at different points of history, hair length has symbolised various things. But the really interesting thing is that it generally signifies something more than mere personal preference.
In societies that have a rigid division of the sexes, different hair lengths for men and women are seen as preferable. This is one way to mark the differences between them, and thereby to define what are regarded as natural or essential masculine and feminine roles.
Despite the fact that Jesus is almost always depicted as medieval Aryan hippie dreamboat with blue eyes and flowing blond tresses, that’s just artistic licence. Chances are he was swarthy with short, dark hair.
While not quite Jesus’ contemporary as he was born a few years after the crucifixion, St. Paul is pretty vocal on hair matters. “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?” he asks in 1 Corinthians 11:14. Women are supposed to have long hair, “as it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”
So here’s an interesting comparison: long, luscious locks were a Gaelic fashion, and the old short-back-and-sides is a Christian one. Under the Brehon Laws, it appears that sex before marriage was acceptable, as were extramarital sex and homosexuality; under Christian law, all those are banned. Under Brehon law women could keep their own property; under Christian law women are property.
Now I am not saying that when men wear their hair long that society is sexually more open, egalitarian and permissive, but there certainly does seem to be some correspondence between the two at least in Western culture.
In the mid-19th century young men began growing their hair longer to differentiate themselves from the older generation and define themselves as progressive thinkers. A similar thing happened in the mid-20th century too.
Scholars have argued that after World War II, long hair on men was a way of challenging and redefining masculinity. In particular, long hair was a reaction to the shaved or short hair favoured by the military. While men of the Beat Generation of the ‘50s had longer hair than had been common during the war, it wasn’t until the anti-Vietnam protests and the hippie culture of the ‘60s that long hair on men became widespread.
Long hair was associated with the rejection of mainstream values and cultural and religious norms in favour of all sorts of wickedness such as sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. In god-fearing righteous America paranoia was rampant that long hair would lead to the collapse of gender roles and widespread homosexuality. In a sense it did – the ‘60s counterculture lead to feminism and the gay rights movement.
This being 2012, you can’t tell a whole lot about a man and his beliefs from the length of his hair. At most you could guess he probably likes rock or metal music and doesn’t work in an office doing something sensible, but you might be wrong.
Luckily there is still some useful information long hair will tell you. Firstly, that the bloke in question is almost definitely heterosexual – gay men significantly prefer to rock short hair. Secondly, since he’s experienced it himself, he’ll understand if you need to stop midway through oral sex to remove a hair that’s gotten caught in your mouth. Finally, and most importantly, he has conditioner. Not quite as vital as condoms when you spend the night, but certainly a bonus!