- Sex & Drugs
- 29 Jul 10
Too often, men get the butt end of the stick. Well, it is time to come clean. The ‘other’ gender is not just useful to have about the place, but also interesting, stimulating, attractive and sometimes, very hot indeed.
Women are often less than complimentary about men. On any given day we may decide to complain about your sexual abilities; housekeeping skills; your fondness for televised sports; your clothes; your diet; or your friends. We blame you for wars, capitalism, environmental destruction, patriarchy, and general large-scale cluster-fucks. No woman would have invented nuclear weapons, we say smugly, or Scientology.
We complain that you are overgrown boys, and like children need minding; that you get under our feet; leave socks strewn around the house; stare at women's breasts; and watch far too much porn.
Frankly, men would be forgiven for thinking that most of the time we don't like you. But this isn't true. Women love men. We do. Honestly. You have your flaws – and many of them at that – but we love you all the same.
In truth, there are many things women admire about men – your masculinity, your sexiness, your personalities and the odd little things that men do differently to women. The sun is shining and I am in a good mood so, let's hear it for the boys! Here are just a few of my favourite things about men...
Smell
There are few things sexier than the slightly sweaty, musky odour of a man's natural scent. Why do you think women sometimes nick your t-shirts? It ain't for your fashion sense, since most of you have none. Nope, it's because a man's natural smell is an incredible olfactory bouquet and if we like you, being around your smell is both a turn-on and a comfort. It's better than the smell of freshly cut grass, coffee or baking bread – those are all delicious too, but they rarely make us swoon.
Having said that, we don't disapprove of male fragrances. Choose a good one and we'll want to bury our faces in your neck and breathe it in. Just don't overdo it.
Freshly showered men
There is something about a man fresh from the shower, hair dripping and a towel around his waist that makes me weak at the knees. I don't know what it is – perhaps some primal urge to make him all dirty again. A well-cut suit, a fitted tee shirt, and a pair of hip hugging jeans are all very sexy too, but nothing compares to a towel, even a slightly greying one that's seen better days.
I should add a caveat. There are men who find it amusing to hang a towel on their erections. This isn't exactly sexy, but it is funny, and funny is always sexy. And if it's a large towel, it's kinda impressive, so carry on!
Body Hair
Yes, compared to women, men are hairy beasts. Your arms are frequently covered in thick wool; your underarms could use a trim; your pubes get stuck in our throats; and scratchy hair grows upon your chin and leaves telltale red marks around our lips. Strangely enough, this rarely bothers us. In fact, male body hair is pretty damn sexy.
Smooth chests are sexy, but so are hairy ones; ditto for chins – I love running my fingers through stubble and even beards, as long as they are not too ZZ Top long, that is. The two trails of hair that grow from the head down onto the back of the neck are bizarrely sexy, although not quite as sexy as the garden path of hair that leads from the navel to the genitals, which is so delectable that I'm sighing as I type.
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Sexually Generous
I have never met a man who didn't regard my sexual enjoyment as at least as important as his own. Granted, I may have been lucky, but in my experience, a man will always try to ensure that his partner orgasms first, will spend ages learning how to delay ejaculation and will make it up to you with their hands or your sex toys if they don't quite manage.
Like most women, I have had lovers who were not especially great, particularly when they and I were younger, but my God, it certainly wasn't for lack of effort, merely lack of experience and that is easily remedied.
Most men also love giving oral sex, at least as much as they love receiving it. For this and this reason alone, men deserve our thanks and gratitude.
A Helping Hand
Yes, we are modern women; yes, we can look after ourselves; no, we don't need you to make our lives complete, buy us drinks or give us orgasms – we can do all that for ourselves if we wish. But yes, you are in general bigger and stronger than us and we like that about you.
I love the way men will go out of their way to offer assistance to damsels in distress. In the past few months I've had complete strangers: offer to retrieve my suitcase from the airport carousel because there were too many folks in front of me; give up a taxi when I was waiting for one alone; help my friend and me push a dead car off the road and try to get it working again; come to my aid when I was being hassled by a drunk; and help pick up my change after I'd clumsily dropped coins all over the corner shop floor.
Men, whether strangers, friends or lovers, often do odd sweet things for no reason other than to be nice. These include giving up bus seats, holding doors open, dealing with spiders, walking you to the bus stop, and offering to carry your heaviest bags.
My housemate and best friend Humphrey does the icky bin related jobs around the house without a complaint; a friend of mine stoops when he's with me because I am short; another friend buys litchis – or lychees if you prefer –for me whenever he sees them because he knows how much I like them. None of these are done with ulterior motives. Instead they suggest a nobility of spirit for which men rarely get the thanks they deserve.
Some Final Thoughts
There are plenty of other male physical attributes I could have listed – defined arms, good butts, firm abs and strong jaws are always admirable, but not every man has them. But yet many men manage to be strangely alluring without them because of their personality, intelligence, style or spirit.
Men who are generous with their time are sexy. Men who know how to pay a genuine compliment, tell a joke, or cook a meal are sexy. Men who listen are sexy. Men who find you sexy are sexy. Men who are passionate about their favourite music, films and books and share them with you are sexy. And men who read my column, well, they are the sexiest of all!
Thanks boys!